Please welcome the star of Boston Legal, William Shatner.

Over the eons--

I love you, William Shatner.

Thank you so much. It's good to have one. Over the eons, I've had the great pleasure of working in TV with gifted men and women, Leonard Nimoy, he's old, and Heather Locklear, she's not, and these days, James Spader along with Monica Potter, Rhona Mitra, and Candice Bergen. After all these years of experience, one tends to gain some small measure of wisdom and here is what I have learned, the women are prettier. The gifted actresses you have honored as your favorite female TV stars boldly go where no women have gone before, the men's room. No, no, no. They grace our lives on a weekly basis and here are your top 3.

Jennifer Garner.

I understand what you're going through. I know what it feels like to be betrayed. You saw how my hatred of Sloane consumed me. One. You saved from that.

Marg Helgenberger.

Four times the legal limit.

Chronic drinking tends to cause a reduction in platelets, thins out the blood, retards clotting.

Well, that would explain why there was so much blood at the scene.

The only other thing I found was a swollen ankle.

Well, you ever tried shaking your ass in 4-inch heels? Don't answer that.

Megan Mullally.

How about some clouds drifting across the blue sky?

Oh, I like that. What kind of blue?

Well, you know, a soft blue like a 10-mg Valium blue. And then, we'll do the moulding in yellow.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. A bright yellow?

No, more of a-- well, here, let me show you my swatches.